Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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