Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
