i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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