You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
