I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
