clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
