At least make sure they are 18
Why
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
