this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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