I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
