I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
