Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
