her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
