i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Randomize