cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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