Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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