Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Terrible idea I love it
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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