so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
