yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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