Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize