Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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