so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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