he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
