I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
