If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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