I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
