the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
