She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Mom said you looked used
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
