i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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