He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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