Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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