I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
porn star boner night. come get it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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