Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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