i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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