So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
