it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
