the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize