i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
