He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I would fuck him just for his dog
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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