theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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