he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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