I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
