Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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