This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The feeling are messing with the penis
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize