she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
