I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
