dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
