He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
