I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Watching her eat just hurts me
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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