used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
