I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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