You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
