IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
