Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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