at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Crop dusting thru forever 21
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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