He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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