You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
