the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
