My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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