If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
