Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
