"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
