bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
